1. |
As the Wind
02:18
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I’m so damn apathetic
I dont know about anything, anymore
long drives at midnight, with envy filling up my car
standing on the edge of summer
with more questions than answers, about my life
why can’t you say
what the fuck you are thinking
why can’t I know
what the fuck I am feeling
I never said, I never spoke, I never felt in control
this is my last, this is my first, this is my only breath
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2. |
Worry and Waiting
02:51
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I can’t get the things you said, to stop resonating in my mind
those words bouncing back and forth, never getting any clearer
sometimes it’s hard to accept
that i’m not good enough
sometimes it’s hard to accept
that I’m just not good enough
I've never felt so worthless as I did that day
you meant so much, I am nothing
how did it end like this
just look me in the eyes,
and tell me you meant it
I make so many changes, and you can’t even fucking see
stuck in your emotional shell, avoiding your insecurities
I don’t understand, why it’s so hard for you to open up
your self-defeating evasiveness gets old real quick
almost 20,
still so fucking empty
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3. |
Repudiation
05:18
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no strength, no hope
every day spent like this
hating myself for the things I can’t control
or at least I tell myself I can’t
I should've ended it when I had the courage
I’m left wanting it to all end, but with no end in sight.
am I even as damaged as I think, or am I just pathetic
I can’t stop thinking of how I feel and why it scares me
words never hit so hard
I guess being honest with yourself
makes you realise all the mistakes you've made
and all the times you acted like it didn't hurt
all the times you smiled as your stomach sunk
I can’t even admit how I’m feeling
I don’t want to believe how much worse I've become
just smile you said
just focus on the good things
so I tried smiling when I felt like running
laughing when I felt like screaming
not looking to the floor, when i wanted to disappear
and not driving home looking at every tree like an exit
just let me slip,
I’m not worth saving.
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